


Reassociation

by captainraz



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2002902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainraz/pseuds/captainraz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lenara Kahn walked out of Jadzia's life forever at the end of "Rejoined". What might have happened if she'd stayed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reassociation

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short and sweet bit of Lenara/Dax fic. It ended up being a little bit more than that.

The letters from the Symbiosis Commission were what finally made it feel real to Jadzia. There was one for each of them, formally worded, notifying them that they had been expelled from the program. This applied not only had the hosts Lenara and Jadzia but also to the symbionts Kahn and Dax. This was it; the end of the line. The last life either Dax or Kahn would have; hundreds of years of accumulated experience would end with them.

It was a hard pill to swallow.

They'd known the consequences of their reassociation before they'd agreed to be together. They had agreed it was worth it, but they'd both known it wouldn't be easy. They were joined Trill; they knew that things worth doing were often hard. This love they shared had lasted more than a century and the lives of several hosts and yet it remained strong. This was something worth sacrificing the potential future lives of the symbionts.

But it hadn't really felt real until the letters arrived.

The day they arrived Dax called in sick and they just sat in her quarters crying and comforting one another. They'd both worked their whole lives to become joined. And since their joinings they had made the welfare of the symbiont their absolute priority. Neither of them had ever done anything quite like this; had never seen themselves doing anything quite like this. The intensity of their feelings for one another had been overwhelming and had changed their lives. For better or for worse, this was the first step on a brand new path for all four creatures involved, and it was terrifying for them all.

The condemnation of the Symbiosis Commission was hard to bear, but it was expected. Harder to come to terms with had been their banishment from the Trill homeworld. Their citizenships had been revoked, effective immediately. Neither of them were to step foot on Trill or any of its colonies, or they would face arrest. This ban would last until the death of the hosts or until they renounced their reassociation. They'd known this was a possibility but it was still a shock to the system. Never again would either of them see the lilac seas of home. Nor would they be able to visit their families in their childhood homes. Not that either of them would see their families again. Jadzia's family had disowned her as soon as she'd informed them of her reassociation. Lenara's brother was refusing to talk to her.

The people on Deep Space Nine were much more mixed in their reactions. Kira had been supportive from the beginning, and was making a genuine effort to befriend Lenara and make her feel at home. Benjamin was a little less enthusiastic. He knew how hard Jadzia had worked to become joined, and what it had cost her to throw all that away. He wasn't exactly supportive, but he had promised to stand by her, no matter what she decided, and Sisko kept his promises. He hadn't said anything to Dax about it, but he had somehow found a way for Lenara to keep doing her work on wormholes. The Trill Science Ministry might have expelled her, but she would still be able to continue her work.

It took time, but they both got used to the idea of what they'd done. Deep Space Nine began to feel a little more like home and their quarters a little less like Jadzia's and more like theirs. They found that they had to put in some work to get to know each other, Lenara and Jadzia rather than Dax and Kahn. Sometimes it was difficult to separate out who was feeling what for whom, but they managed to muddle through. The only real difference between them and other couples was that some of their arguments were over a hundred years old. Some of their issues had been other people's issues first. It took Lenara months to stop feeling nervous every time Jadzia piloted a shuttle.

Sometimes when they were making love, Lenara couldn't tell if it was Jadzia or Torias in bed with her. It was a little disconcerting to look into the eyes of the person you loved and see someone who had been dead more than a century. But at the end of the day it didn't matter. She loved them all: Jadzia, Torias and Dax. She knew that Jadzia felt the same about Lenara, Kahn and Nilani.

They had both lost so much when they decided to break the ultimate taboo of Trill society, but they'd also gained so much. Dax had been right when she'd said that Lenara and herself had more in common than Torias and Nilani ever did. In so many ways they were a well matched couple. The two women were each other's equals when it came to scientific knowledge and enthusiasm. They were both certifiable geniuses. They complemented each other well in their chosen careers and after a few initial scuffles, in their domestic life as well.

Jadzia was the more impulsive of the two women and Lenara often wondered if that was a Dax trait or something she'd had before her joining. From the stories Benjamin told her she surmised it was either a Dax trait or something leftover from Curzon. Lenara learned to love Jadzia for her impulsiveness. In return Jadzia appreciated having someone who could talk sense into her when she needed it most.

Their lives settled down and their relationship became a normal part of the background on DS9. The only reminder of the taboo nature of their relationship came on the rare occasions when a Trill delegation visited. Jadzia was ever defiant in the face of the scandalised looks they received from other Trills. Lenara would retreat to their quarters for the duration of the visit, not wanting to risk confrontation.

A year after Lenara's arrival the pair married, and Ben Sisko was proud that they'd asked him to preside over the ceremony. The senior staff threw a party in Quark's that people would talk about for years to come. Sisko had to intervene to ensure that Jadzia didn't spend her first night as a married woman in one of Odo's cells.

Tensions between the Federation and the Dominion escalated. Eventually Starfleet was forced to abandon the wormhole and with it Deep Space Nine. Lenara elected to remain behind, much to Jadzia's consternation and concern. She needn't have worried. Lenara proved more than capable of looking after herself, even behind enemy lines. She was a useful ally to Kira, and played an instrumental role in the new Bajoran resistance. The resistance delayed the destruction of the minefield until Starfleet could retake the station. Lenara's reunion with her wife on the Promenade was emotional, tearful and immediately followed by an intense shouting match.

After the liberation of the station from the Dominion the two decided that they wanted to start a family. In the middle of a war wasn't exactly the ideal time but they didn't want to put it off. A little bit of genetic wizardry from Julian and a few months later their daughter was born.

This changed everything for Jadzia.

It wasn't until she held her new born daughter in her arms that she felt the full weight of the unfairness of their situation. Both she and Lenara had qualified for joining on their own merits, had both earned their symbionts. And yet Trill cultural norms declared all that worthless because they'd had the audacity to fall for each other. Their society had declared their love forbidden. As a result their daughter was forever banned from stepping foot on her own planet. Federation citizenship gave her rights, but a part of her cultural heritage would always be missing. When she held her child the first time Jadzia finally knew that it was the Symbiosis Commission and Trill society that was in the wrong. She vowed to change the rules against reassociation.

Lenara was reticent at first. But she agreed that in this case, laws designed to protect Trill society were in truth harming it. She joined Jadzia's crusade. They found an unexpected ally in Ezri Tigan, an unjoined Trill who had come to the station as a counsellor. Ezri had never wanted to become joined herself, but had strong opinions on joining nonetheless. She disagreed with the ban on continuing romantic relationships when platonic relationships were not. She thought that Jadzia and Lenara's daughter, Nerala, should get to make her own decision about joining. She should get to decide if joining was something she wanted to strive for, instead of being a decision made for her by bureaucrats.

To this end the three of them wrote weekly letters to the Symbiosis Commission, the Trill government and the Federation Council. They asked for a reconsideration on the ban on reassociation. They managed to convince Benjamin to write a letter as well. In it he described how his friendships with both Curzon and Jadzia had enriched his life. He pointed out how unfair it was that he was allowed to continue his relationship with Dax, but Lenara wasn't. After the Dominion war, Jake wrote an article on their situation which the Federation News Service ran. That story attracted many high profile allies to their cause and ensured that Jadzia and Lenara were known throughout the Federation.

The Trill government and the Symbiosis Commission battened down the hatches in response to this. They simply refused to discuss joining with outsiders at all. So Dax pulled out her secret weapon.

She told the story of her secret host, Joran Dax. She told how a completely unsuitable candidate ended up joined and the disastrous consequences. She told the truth about the cover up, of how it had been kept secret even from the Dax symbiont. She described how she had discovered the truth about her fifth host. How the Symbiosis Commission had been willing to sacrifice Jadzia's life to keep the truth from getting out. Dax told the Trill populace the truth. That most of the population were suitable for joining, and that there were nowhere near enough symbionts for them all. She told them that rigorous demands made on those wanting a symbiont was just a way of making sure that demand did not exceed supply.

The effects of Dax's confession were immediate and shockwaves were felt all over the Quadrant. Trills were understandably angry that they had been lied to about one of the cornerstones of their culture. The Federation was outraged. They couldn't beleive that one of their member worlds would keep such an important truth from their population. All new joinings were put on hold pending a full investigation into the Symbiosis Commission.

That was the last Jadzia and Lenara heard of it for a while. They got on with their lives, their jobs and raising their family. Then one day, not long after Nerala's third birthday, Ezri came to their quarters with a huge grin on her face.

Trill and the Federation had come to an agreement and new joinings would begin again within the next few years. Federation scientists would work with Trill to increase symbiont population. It was hoped that someday the number of symbionts would more closely match the number of potential hosts. In return, the Symbiosis Comission had completely overhauled their policies on joining. The programme for potential hosts was to become less strict. It would acknowledge that there was merit in the symbionts living ordinary lives with their hosts. Most importantly, the Symbiosis Commission had amended the rules on reassociation. The ban hadn't been lifted outright. Host couples could petition to have their reassociation approved, pending an investigation. The Commission would allow reassociation provided the relationship offered new experiences for the symbiont. Hosts who had been struck from the programme for reassociation would be allowed to appeal that decision.

Lenara and Dax put together an impressive appeal. They focussed on two salient points. One, that their hosts' previous relationship had been tragically cut short. Second, the fact that the current hosts had a child together. Previous hosts of bothered Dax and Kahn had been parents, but this was the first time they had been a parent in a same sex relationship. Their argument was that this was a sufficiently new experience that reassociation should be permissible. They testified in their appeal via subspace transmission and after that it was playing the waiting game.

The letters from the Symbiosis Commission informing them of their successful appeal felt surreal. Both Dax and Kahn were to be reinstated to the programme, along with their current hosts. Lenara and Jadzia had been certain their appeal would be rejected. Not because their case was weak, but because Jadzia and Lenara were almost singlehandedly responsible for the massive shake up at the commission. They had never been so glad to be wrong. The ban on returning to their homeworld was also lifted and the Trill government issued them both a formal apology. Their citizenship was also reinstated, and for the first time in her life their daughter was a Trill citizen.

The celebration in Quarks' rivalled Dax's bachelor party for messiness. By all rights Odo should have thrown the entire senior staff into his holding cells, but he was too happy for his friends to arrest anyone.

Jadzia cashed in some leave and she and Lenara took Nerala to Trill for the first time. Their daughter had a wonderful time being fussed over by aunts, uncles and grandparents she had never met. Her parents were simply glad to be speaking to their extended families for the first time in almost five years. As they watched their daughter playing in the lilac seas of Trill they agreed that, wonderful as it was, it was no longer home. Their home was hundreds of light years away on a dingy Cardassian space station in Bajoran space. But most of all, home was each other.

Their love had forever changed the face of Trill society, which was definitely a new experience for both symbionts. And as they watched the sun set on a silvery beach on Trill, their daughter falling asleep on their laps, they knew it had all been worth it.


End file.
